Babies and Politics
Two, maybe three Sundays from now, there will be a baby living with us in our 650 square foot apartment. One that we made and I grew. And grew. It doesn't quite seem real yet, even though I fall asleep every night to a foot in my ribs, or rhythmic hiccups behind my belly button, wake up two hours later to pee, settle myself on the couch where my restless legs won't kick my husband awake, fall back asleep, get up to pee again, then head back to bed. We didn't find out about said baby until September, so I don't know if the late notice is the root of the unreality of the situation, or if birth is just one of those big life moments that doesn't feel concrete until it arrives.
I've been on bed rest thanks to a combination of too much amniotic fluid and persistent Braxton Hicks contractions, and I'm starting to go a little stir-crazy. I feel more animal than person most days. The furry members of our family nap with me on the bed, sometimes snuggling up to my sizable belly. They've accepted me as one of their own.
Today, Logan and I assembled our Pack and Play, taking breaks in between. He wrote a letter to our senator; I sorted through a bag of donated baby clothes. He read on his Kindle; I combed through Pinterest for Wes Anderson childhood ideas that are both impossible to achieve and probably damaging. (As he pointed out recently, most characters in Wes Anderson movies are crushed under the weight of whimsy.)
Ever since the election, I keep thinking about the concentric circles of belonging I was taught in kindergarten. It starts with you, then your household, then your family, your neighborhood, your city, your state, your country, your continent, your world, your universe. Being pregnant has brought my focus to the two smallest circles, even as my concern for the larger circles have grown.
Bed rest means more hours to keep up to date with the horror show that is the current news cycle. I've been quiet about most political issues for a long time, which I now realize was a mistake. Things like marriage equality and access to healthcare seemed like such a long time coming, so obviously right that I got complacent. Now the trick is to find a balance between resistance and sanity, something I'm watching a lot of my friends start to work out for themselves.
Recommended Reading:
How to Make Soup
A Scene From the D.C. Women's March
To Obama With Love, and Hate, and Desperation
Some Nose-Blowing Suggestions